What are you fighting?

Take a close look at most dreams, and there's usually some form of conflict in it somewhere.  Some dreams, the conflict is front and center, with dream characters really trying to wipe each other out, and in some dreams, it's more subtle.  For example, in my dream last night, I was planning on going to a fun restaurant with a group of friends, and one of them approached me with his fears that he wouldn't have enough money to pay for the dinner, and also that he wouldn't be able to buy some gum after the dinner so his breath wouldn't stink.  In the dream I brushed aside his fears as irrelevant. But in the morning, upon reflecting on the dream, I paused and thought about what he said.  I really felt the conflict in myself between the desire to go forward and the fear that I wouldn't be able to pay the price.
It's interesting that within one person can live so many different desires and personality traits, and often these desires and traits can conflict with each other.  All in the same person.  (Now multiply one person's inner conflicts times 7 billion people in the world, and it's no wonder we have so much fighting amongst ourselves!) When we're aware  that we're conflicted, we can usually figure out a good path forward, eventually.  The problem arises when we aren't aware that we are internally divided.  We may think we're making wise decisions, when in fact, an unconscious inner player may be living out its fears through our unwitting reactions to life.  And sometimes, we may be dimly aware of an inner conflict, but the two sides seem so polarized, so desperately opposites, we don't see how we can please both sides of ourselves. 
Sometimes we repress one part of ourselves so deeply that the only way it can be heard is to manifest in our waking life as intense struggles with other people, organizations, or platforms.  If we could only solve our internal conflicts, there would not be such a need to fight externally.
It may seem hopeless, but it's not.  There's always a win-win solution, if we look deeply enough and are willing to bring all of our fears into the open light of day.  Dream work can be extremely helpful in this regard.  Sometimes when you solve an unconscious skirmish, your external anxiety and tension melts away on its own.  In my situation, a good way to work with my inner conflict would be to imagine I'm back in my dream, and talking to my friend.  I can ask all the other friends to contribute towards his meal.  Allow him to feel safe and comfortable and provided-for, so we can all go forward and enjoy the restaurant without anyone feeling neglected. 
Peace starts within.  Give every part of yourself a chance to voice its concerns and opinions, and then manage them all to find a wise, balanced approach to your life.  This is what it means to live consciously, and dream work can guide you on this path.
What conflicts are showing in your dreams? 

Feed that monkey!

I recently discovered a business in my community called Adventure Monkey.  I was reading about them on their FaceBook page, and came across these paragraphs:

 We all need adventure. The Adventure Monkey is inside of us all. Without feeding our Adventure Monkeys we get at the minimum restless and at worst clinically depressed. Some people feed their Adventure Monkeys with daredevil X-game types of adventures. Others feed them with travel, meeting new people or raising a family. There is an unlimited number of ways to feed our Adventure Monkeys. If we don’t, we end up with a stale, tasteless and boring life that lacks the excitement we all crave. Ever feel that way? It’s because your Adventure Monkey is hungry or worse yet, starved.

I got the idea of the Adventure Monkey while on a long bicycle ride. I was considering the simple needs that must be met for us to live happy, fulfilled lives. No forebrain or higher level human psyche to get in the way. We tend to forget or repress these simple needs and desires in our logical forebrain dominated world. I found myself seeing these inner needs as little monkeys, cute yet destructive if left unfed.

Much like Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, I imagined a barrel of monkeys instead of a dry, dusty pyramid. If any one of these monkeys doesn’t get fed, it gets hungry and becomes irritated, antagonizing the other monkeys inside of us.

Working my day to day office job was boring me to death. Office politics irritated me. Meaningless small talk annoyed me. Futile work assignments drained me. In the cubicle world, there is nothing “real” to fight for so we make up stupid, idiotic things to worry about.

I started to feel useless, tired and depressed. I came home and was tired. I would watch people do cool things on television. I was tired of watching people do great things as I sat there doing nothing. My Adventure Monkey was starved!

When the weather turned, I started bicycling again. I was enjoying the freedom and relaxation of a nice cross country ride. I found myself challenging myself, going farther and farther each ride. My mind would clear and I would reflect and learn while on a long bicycle ride. I didn’t feel depressed. I felt as if I was accomplishing something great on these rides. I was feeding my Adventure Monkey.

Wow.  This is exactly what dream interpretation is about.  Only we have more in our dreams than just monkeys.  We have friends, enemies, strangers, animals, plants, scenery, buildings, monsters, and much more.  And every symbol is part of our inner self!  Every symbol has a need, just as valid as the Adventure Monkey's need for adventure.
This is a great approach to interpreting your dreams.  Just write down the main symbols of your dream, and, one-by-one, ask yourself, "What does this person/animal/object need to be happy?"
Finding a balance among the many (and often conflicting) desires and impulses within ourselves is the path to maturity and joy.  If you are dreaming about something that elicits a strong emotional reaction, chances are there is an internal desire being repressed and needing valid expression.
If you interpret your dreams and act on them in a mature way, you, too, will feel you are "accomplishing something great."  Because you are.

Vinegar and Vomit

Last night I dreamed there was a pot of disgusting, brown, chunky liquid on my counter, and I kept adding vinegar to it, but it never got fuller.  Every time I added vinegar, it fizzed and bubbled.

It's a powerful image that brought tears to my eyes today when I remembered it, even before I knew what it meant.  Still, I probably wouldn't have interpreted it, had I not experienced a synchronicity--I went over to a friend's house, and there in the sink was a crock pot that was soaking, waiting to be washed.  It was full of -- you guessed it -- brown chunky liquid.  It was at that point that I decided to interpret the dream.

The dream references a few recent events from my waking life.  One is something that happened sometime last week. I tried to make biscuits using baking soda instead of baking powder, and I used vinegar to try to neutralize the alkaline of the soda. When I added vinegar to the dough, it fizzed in the same way as the dream. Despite my chemical ingenuity, the biscuits still turned out terribly!  The other event this dream references is the stomach bug I got a few nights ago, that had me vomiting every hour, all night.  (The brown stuff in the dream was kind of like the vomit in the toilet. Very gross.) I am, today, still recovering, though I'm feeling better and haven't vomited since.  The dream happened while in recovery from my illness.

What does it mean? In the dream I was trying to neutralize a concoction, bring a balance between acid and base. The dream is about me trying to force a balance into an issue of life. This balancing effort will probably not be successful, like the biscuits, unless I look deeper and do some smarter intervention.  Now I'll examine the symbols.
First, the vomit.  It's something that's supposed to be inside, nourishing my body, but it has come out into the open.  I need to ask myself, "Where in my life do I feel like what is supposed to be inside, nourishing me, is misplaced?"
Next, the vinegar--acid.  Words I associate with vinegar are: burning, sharp, strong, and salad dressing.  The efforts I'm using are more sharpness, more strength.  It could be something good, if I mixed it with better ingredients, like when I make salad dressing with vinegar as one of the ingredients; but in its raw state, it is too harsh.  It creates bubbles and boils, rather than balance and beauty.  "Where in my life am I using too much sharpness and strength?"

Aha.  When I asked myself these questions, the meaning of the dream became clear.  The evening before the dream, I lost my temper at someone close to me.  I was already feeling physically terrible, due to being sick, and what this person did just infuriated me.  All I wanted to do was GET TO BED so I could REST, and he was putting all these obstacles in my path AND being mean on top of that!   On a normal day I probably would have managed it better, but I was not feeling well, and I blew my top.
I immediately regretted losing my temper, and apologized, but that guilt remained.  I don't believe in violence.  How could I have let myself be so harsh?  I know better ways of dealing with these situations.  Where did that anger come from? The dream is showing that, despite efforts I've made to the contrary, I still have a gut-level belief that harshness will "correct" bad behavior, even though I know, mentally, that it won't.  It shows that I am taking what should be nurturing feelings (giving into a relationship with someone I love), and making those feelings about ME, and then trying to correct that selfishness in an inappropriate way.

It's important to remember that every symbol in the dream somehow is about the dreamer.  The vomit in the dream is my view of the bad behavior. The vomit doesn't represent the actions of the person I was angry at, but rather how I FEEL about those actions.  The vinegar is my harsh strength that came spilling out through the weakness, called sickness, it found in my armor. When I use harshness to try to correct someone, I'm REALLY trying to bring relief and balance to my own feelings, not to his behaviors alone.  How much better to be "neutral" (pun unintentionally discovered!) and focus on his actions alone, without trying to bring my feelings into the mix?

What I can do to neutralize my feelings and lose my temper less?  Visualize that pot of disgusting liquid turning into a fresh, crisp, healthful, vibrant salad, and the vinegar becoming my favorite salad dressing (Annie's Green Garlic).  I'll visualize this several times a day for a month, until I feel a shift in how I respond to irritating situations.

What this exercise does: Changes my feelings about bad behavior. Rather than other people's irritating behavior being perceived as something disgusting to be eradicated, like vomit, they are opportunities to learn and grow, just as a salad is an opportunity to become more healthy.  My anger can be harnessed in healthy ways, as vinegar can be mixed with other ingredients and made into a delicious salad dressing.


What a gross dream!  Have you had a gross dream you would like interpreted?  Go to my website to learn how I can help you!  www.sleepingrealities.com

The top 5 things you DON'T want in your dreams

Believe it or not, monsters, death, ex-lovers, and all kinds of scary, disturbing, and disgusting images are all perfectly normal, and even healthy parts of dreaming.  When I see these kinds of things in dreams, I'm not necessarily too concerned.
There are some things, however, that you don't want to see in your dreams.  If you dream these things, you know you need to address some issues in your life.  Here's the top-5 list, and what you can do about each one:

Free dream interpretations

I will be choosing one dream per month for whom to give a free short interpretation on this blog.  If you are interested in submitting your dream for use on the blog, just email me at sleepingrealities@gmail.com
If I don't get to you this month, it might be next month!  Pass the word!

You kinda had to be there

Have you ever had a dream that was so deep, so strange, or so complex, it was really hard to explain?  Maybe you saw a big jumble of colors that had a kind of shape or movement to them.  Or maybe you were in a place that felt really familiar, but there were so many things around you it would just take forever to describe them all.  Or maybe something "worked" in the dream that when you try to replay it in real life, it makes no sense.
Dreams are our mind's interface with what is going on with us at the energy level, so it's no surprise that they sometimes go beyond our rational mind's ability to make sense of them.   We feel dreams, sometimes, more than watch them.

Go get your shoes on, ... PLEASE!!???

I have a 3-year-old with a stubborn streak deep as the Pacific Ocean.  (Can any other parents relate?)  Here's a scenario that happens often at my house--
Me: Johnny, go get your shoes on, please, because we need to leave.
Johnny: [keeps playing]
Me: Johnny, I said get your shoes on, please. 
Johnny: [keeps playing]
Me: JOHNNY!  We need to leave!  Shoes! Now!
Johnny: [looks up at me briefly, turns around and keeps playing]


At this point, I, as a parent, have many choices.  Many parents don't know they have choices, since nothing kicks a person into auto-pilot (i.e. unconscious programming) like the stress of parenting.