In my series on polarity, I am randomly choosing various psychological tensions to discuss. This week's post is on what I will call the axis of relationship.
Relating to others is a tricky, difficult prospect. In any interaction between oneself and another person, all kinds of questions must be raised. The main tension, I believe, is the tension between being true to oneself and simultaneously allowing space for the other to be true to him/herself. This creates a polarity of seemingly opposite forces within us--selfishness on one end and self-abasement on the other. Both forces should be somewhat equally working in a person's life in order to live in a healthy balance with oneself and others. Too far on the selfishness side, and there isn't enough fair room for other people to grow and shine. Too far on the self-abasement side, and one ceases to honor the unique spark in one's own heart.
It's easy to see in others when they are out of balance in this area. We all know people who are doormats, who don't have their own personalities (or, more accurately, I should say, who don't allow their own personalities to shine fully), and who burn themselves out working for others and never filling up their own needs. We all know people on the other side who are abusers, who are arrogant, who never stop to consider how their actions might affect others, who put their own wishes as their #1 priority. It's a little harder to recognize these imbalances in our own selves, though.
Never fear, dreams can help us. You might see a person in a dream that you recognize as being too far from center on this axis of relationships. Or you might see an aggressive animal. Or you might experience a dream like I had once--in the dream, I actually lay down by a door and hoped people wouldn't step on me! What an obvious dream symbol! Doormat, anyone? (Of course, upon waking, the logical question to myself was, "well, if you don't want people to step on you, why are you lying down by a door?"*) Another dream I had once showed a powerful fox and a meek deer. Any number of symbols could be used to show an imbalance or a struggle with this polarity in your life.
Where are you currently operating from in your own axis of relationship?
*Don't worry, in this same dream, I finally stood up and plugged
something into a power outlet--indicating that I was ready to connect
with my personal power!