This used to be a blog dedicated to one of my interests, dream interpretation. I have decided to expand it to include thoughts about pretty much Everything.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

A polarity example: the axis of relationships

In my series on polarity, I am randomly choosing various psychological tensions to discuss.  This week's post is on what I will call the axis of relationship.
Relating to others is a tricky, difficult prospect.  In any interaction between oneself and another person, all kinds of questions must be raised.  The main tension, I believe, is the tension between being true to oneself and simultaneously allowing space for the other to be true to him/herself.  This creates a polarity of seemingly opposite forces within us--selfishness on one end and self-abasement on the other.  Both forces should be somewhat equally working in a person's life in order to live in a healthy balance with oneself and others.  Too far on the selfishness side, and there isn't enough fair room for other people to grow and shine.  Too far on the self-abasement side, and one ceases to honor the unique spark in one's own heart.
It's easy to see in others when they are out of balance in this area.  We all know people who are doormats, who don't have their own personalities (or, more accurately, I should say, who don't allow their own personalities to shine fully), and who burn themselves out working for others and never filling up their own needs.  We all know people on the other side who are abusers, who are arrogant, who never stop to consider how their actions might affect others, who put their own wishes as their #1 priority.  It's a little harder to recognize these imbalances in our own selves, though.
Never fear, dreams can help us.  You might see a person in a dream that you recognize as being too far from center on this axis of relationships.  Or you might see an aggressive animal. Or you might experience a dream like I had once--in the dream, I actually lay down by a door and hoped people wouldn't step on me! What an obvious dream symbol! Doormat, anyone?  (Of course, upon waking, the logical question to myself was, "well, if you don't want people to step on you, why are you lying down by a door?"*)  Another dream I had once showed a powerful fox and a meek deer.  Any number of symbols could be used to show an imbalance or a struggle with this polarity in your life.

Where are you currently operating from in your own axis of relationship?

*Don't worry, in this same dream, I finally stood up and plugged something into a power outlet--indicating that I was ready to connect with my personal power!

Wednesday, January 16, 2013


I'm blogging again! Yay!

I would like to start a series of posts on the topic of "polarity," and how it might show up in our dreams.  First, a definition.  Polarity is a set of opposites that work in tension, with and against each other, creating an axis.  Polarity is necessary for health and balance in life, and we all have many different axes at work in our lives.  I like the image of a bicycle wheel.  Each spoke extends from a central point, an axle, to an extreme on one side and an extreme on the other side.  If one or the other side of the spoke were weak, the wheel may collapse.  Both sides need to have equal strength--working both with and against each other-- to ensure the strength of the entire wheel.  (In addition, we need all the spokes creating different axes, so to speak, for the wheel to be fully balanced.)

How does polarity work in an individual's life?

Let us choose a polar axis operational in each of us to demonstrate the point.  Let us take, oh, "stalling" and "rushing" as two opposites, and call this polarity "the axis of timing."  (I am making up this term, not drawing it from any philosophers or psychologists that I am aware of.  However, the principle of polarity is well-known.)  There are times when it is appropriate to wait, move slowly, be cautious.  There are times when it is appropriate to hurry, move swiftly, be assertive.  If the "timing polarity" is in healthy shape in our psychological world, we are able to move in a more or less appropriate rhythm to our life, and things that require good timing are harmonious for us.  If this polarity is unbalanced, the person's entire "wheel of life" (so to speak) can get out of whack.  Some people are prone to the "rushing" extreme of this polarity, and they often find themselves in tough situations, due to too many rash decisions.  And others lean towards the "stalling" extreme, and often find themselves quagmired, due to not enough decisions at all.

Polarity is interesting, because even though the two opposites move away from each other, they are actually attracted to one another.  Hence the adage, "opposites attract."  This works on the unconscious level, too.  A person who is out of balance in the "timing" axis of her life, leaning too much into the "rushing" side, will often find herself around slow people, slow traffic, slow machines, etc.  Her unconscious mind is attracting energies that are the opposite of her extreme, in an effort to bring her back into balance.  If she can become aware of her imbalance, and correct it within herself, the external situation will change, because she no longer needs the external "slow" energy to balance her out.

See how this works? 

Polarities show up in dreams often by sets of opposites.  Continuing with the example above, if your "timing axis" is imbalanced, you may see a roaring waterfall in one part of the dream, and a still pond in another part of the dream.  Or a racecar and a tricycle.  Or a sprinter and a broken leg.  And so on...

What polarities are you aware of in your life?  Are they in a healthy balance-tension, or do you need some adjustment?  Are your dreams showing you any out-of-balance polarities, which you were not aware of before?